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Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Things I learned while taking a break from facebook.

A couple of months ago, while I went off Facebook, I decided to log what I was learning... And here it is. I have learned don't wish for a moment , wish for a lifetime! I've learned that you really can type the letters lol on a post while you're crying, I've learned that it's OK to cry, be sad and wish things were different even when you know they're the way they are supposed to be. I learned that there is no limit to the number of times you can lose the TV remote.
I ponder the thought that there should be a remake of an old song except this time call it "this boy is a woman now." Clearly my mind has had time to wander. If Heidi Klum went from a 10 to a 9.99,
I'm now off the charts, and not in the good way.
I have learned that I do not want to show nipples in public in the downtown square area. Unless someone from Skin Wars is going to paint it into a minion. And no one else wants me to either , I am sure. And I think that the skin wars artists should also paint the butt cracks that are always showing in the low jeans into something creative while they're at it.
I've learned when I heard an ad about cinnamon rolls and they said the words doughy, flaky and happy that they were not talking about the seven dwarfs family. I've also learned that as you age sometimes your brain just automatically changes the lyrics to a song to fit what age you are. For instance the song " watch me whip watch me nae nae", well when I caught myself singing it, I was singing watch me slip watch me nae nae... Lol well hope I don't do the slip part!
For those of you that speak Shakespearean :)
I've learned that you can't plug your phone charger into your remote control for the television. After watching Project Runway I have learned what my avocados goiters are. I have learned that fortunately you can also forget some of the things you have learned.
 Michael Kors so cruelly put it, with "avocado dinner napkins" (a.k.a. "avocado goiters") tucked into the hip? 
 I have also learned that when you have an interest in something, you can't just jump in everything you want to try because it takes energy, money and time. This gets more valuable the older you get so you become more choosy about how you use it out of necessity. I learned that if you sit on a fork, spoon and knife wrapped in a napkin and don't even know it or if you stick ear buds in your top and don't even know that ,you're probably not the princess and the pea. I've learned that yoldeling is probably not something I want to spend a lot of time learning even though I like the outfits. I've learned it's fun to give away one of your really cute pair of stilettos that are new and see a friend wearing them and it look even better on her! What I've learned is warming up your lotion for your face foundation before you put it on feels luxurious!
I have learned never to wipe off a kiss on the cheek no matter how sloppy it is, because it will sink in and become a smile later!
I've learned that I think I need a security blanket, and perhaps a chocolate pacifier. What I have learned... You know how some places let you have your own beer stein kept in their facilities and then when you come in they serve you in it? We need a dessert shop that way! And of course they must be true, mostly chocolate desserts! That's what I've learned. I learned that you kind of forget what it's like to be one half of a couple after alone for a while. But after all the precious memories of being in a wonderful marriage, your relationship will always be there in your heart. I have learned that using my cell phone more does not make me clean up my emails any better. Even though it should. I've learned that pajamas can be daytime attire! I've learned that no... I don't have to put on my big girl panties, you're not the boss of me and sometimes I just need to be a little girl for a bit.
 I've learned, after catching up on reruns of TV shows I was behind on, that I want to bring back an old saying ...gag me with a spoon!
 I've learned that Jabba the Hut is something you can call yourself after a particularly filling Thanksgiving dinner per Mindy Kaling. I've learned that while reading library books that have been read many times you can tell what a previous reader was eating when they read it much to my chagrin! I've learned if you freeze grapes, they taste like little miniature ice creams.
 But that's not the fun part, the fun part is popping one in your mouth putting a sheet up to your nose and breathing ! You would be amazed at how much cold air comes out! I know small things amuse small minds... I've learned that Superman can't really fly so be your own Superman.
 I've learned that some things really do taste as good as thin looks! I've learned that if you watch the show hoarders you may become very depressed from it but your house would be a lot cleaner. I have learned a new appreciation for oxymorons. For example to be a belly dancer, you really don't want a belly. I've learned that almost everyone knows some sign language, at least the dirty words. I have learned that closing my Facebook account for a while so I can catch up on things around the house has introduced me to Instagram... And I'm still learning everyday...